Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize