I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Redeem this text for a blowjob
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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