Don't you send me to vm
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
