i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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