Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
