Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize