I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just fell off a train. Bad.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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