So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You are the jesus of drinking
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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