We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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