Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
