Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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