I like to think it a success when the cops are called
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
