piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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