Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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