Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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