32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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