Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
