dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
soo... how was my night?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
