I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
