I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
His nipple licking is glorious
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