Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
