I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dick very happy bro
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
