can we get nightvision for the apartment?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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