So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
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You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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