I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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