Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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