I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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