it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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