SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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