it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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