I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
