I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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