butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
