Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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