We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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