just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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