Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize