think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
