I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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