omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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