I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
