Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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