I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
