Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
