i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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