fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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