she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
