he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
40s are totally the cure
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
