I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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