Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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