why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize