apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
