My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The feeling are messing with the penis
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order