DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT