so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?