My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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