i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?