can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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