I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize