i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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