Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
